under appreciated...

I am so incredibly pissed off  right now... i don't even know where to start...

So the other day I was feeling kind of down and out..... thinking about a lot of things... and it was making me a little depresssed... so I'm at work selling them ipods and imacs, but obviously not into it at all... but not once does anyone show any kind of concern as to my current well being.... like not even a are you ok... not that i was looking for attention... but when someone you care about is obviously not in a good mood, i would think you would show at least a little concern... I know I  am always there. listening to people problems and trying to cheer them up the best I can.. but when I am the one who needs cheering up, not one person came to me, which made me even more depressed..

Then finally, like a blessing from above,  in the middle of the day, a friend texts me and says " hey Joey, how are you feeling? everything ok?" so I think, " oh wow, someone here does care about me :)" and it cheers me up like you wouldn't believe... like finally, someone is taking the time to see how I am doing.. so I send him this medium length text about how I've had better days, and that I'm not feeling as happy as I usually do... to which he replies " Oh, that sux...I'm sorry...can you still get discounts on the dr. dre beats headphones?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?...................................

I just spill out my current state of depression to you and all you have to say in response is can I get discounts on headphones???

Obviously this made me sooo pissed off.. i didn't even reply to him because if I did it wouldvr been on the line of " are you kidding me right now, i just fucking tell you i'm depressed and all you care about is some fucking headphones... FUCK YOU!!!!"(lord, please forgive my language, I'm just so ridiculously angry right now, forgive me please)

He has since sent me a couple more text to which I have also yet to respond to b/c I have nothing to say to him right now..... but it got me to thinking...

when have and of my "friends" ever genuinely asked how I am doing?

when have any of my "friends" every called/text me just to say hi?

when have any of my "friends" ever even pretended to care about me?

I am ALWAYS there for them

I am the one who is up at 3am trying to help them get over a break up b/c there was no one else to call, even though I have work at 6..

I am the one the always turn to to ask favors for b/c Joey is "Mr. Nice" and he'll sacrifice what current plans he might've already had to try to make everyone happy

I am the one going out of my way all the time

and what kind of appreciation do I get in return?

i am the one everyone calls when there is no one else to talk to

I am the one who is at home the entire weekend alone, and no one, not once, calls and asks me to hang out, even though I see from FB that all of my "friends" are goin out and having a good time

I am a pushover, no one cares about me b/c they no I wont say anything.... I wont let them know how upset I am that I'm the last person to get called to do anything....

I'm a christian, so I'm"Mr. Nice" , and as "Mr. Nice" everyone just takes, takes, and takes, b/c they know I'll give.. they take advantage of me and my niceness... In short, Im just something they go to when they need something

but no one  gives to me.. I have to do everything by myself, no one ever asks me if I need help, no one ever thinks about me,, I'm just... a slave pretty much.. there to grant their every wish on demand.. and when I can't, or take longer then they like.. they get mad at me.................

but you no what... that's over.....

I'm done being Mr. Pushover

I'm done trying to please everyone

I'm done giving all that I have to people without even a simple thank you in response

I'm done...

that's my speal for the day.....feels good to get it out :)

                                        My First photoshopped picture :)